I´ve changed

I don´t know what to follow,
who to trust,
where to go
and why to do things I do.
I never wanted the easy life.
I wanted adventure.
I am not that person who is conventional and
follows always what others do.

But where am I now.
Do I know who I am,
what do I want,
what I need?
I don´t.

I wonder around trying to do my thing and be myself
but in the end I have started to act differently.
I have given a wrong expression to people about myself.
I do not trust myself anymore.
And that´s sad.

Was I happier then
when I was free, when I met a lot of interesting people all the time
and was happy to be myself?
Back then I was brave, excited and full of ideas.
But what am I now?
I am a person who isn´t dreaming, hoping and living her life like used to
and never gets excited about new things.